After careful consideration I have decided to watch The Untouchables this evening. It’s free when you use your friend’s Hulu login. I pay for it, but I’m just saying.
It’s 1930, it’s Chicago and it’s the time of Al Capone. How good was Robert De Niro back in those days? The eighties I mean, not 1930. I used to have every single movie of his on VHS, even obscure crap like “Greetings” and “Born to Win“. Those movies were hot garbage, but nothing gets in between me and completing a collection. When I’m in the zone I must have everything, I must collect them in order and I must watch them in order. Such is the orderly (anal?) life of a CPA.
I don’t recall exactly where it all went wrong for me and Bobby D. Some say when he started doing comedy it changed things. I don’t know, “Midnight Run” is one of my favorites and he was pretty funny in that.
It only served to increase my man crush on the guy. He was great in “Meet the Parents” too and don’t forget analyze that, this and the other…ah, there it is. Yeah, I liked those movies too, but I think we have bingo here. It’s kind of like when the Red Hot Chili Peppers came out with Blood Sugar Sex Magic. It was an intricate and well put together album in my opinion. Sadly for me, It completely changed a once great band forever. The big tipoff came when they would “sarcastically” claim in interviews to be selling out. Like there was no chance of that actually happening. The truth is there if you look for it though…
De Niro is still a great actor, but I have no such collection of his movies these days.
What are you prepared to do?!?
Annnnd Andy Garcia just stepped in to the film. He’s at the top of my list of greatest single performances followed by a complete sack of crap for the rest of his career. A one hit wonder for sure, although I think many would disagree with me. He’s so good in this film though. Greatest shot in any movie until Mr. Barry Pepper came along.
Part-of-a-team. My mother actually warned me of the brutal baseball bat scene. I remember her talking about how graphic it was before I got to see it myself. I also recall her telling me all about how Jake Lamotta practically knocked a guy’s nose clean off in “Raging Bull”. And once again we are reminded of Robert De Niro’s prowess as an actor. That may have been his finest of all too…Ray still hasn’t knocked him down.
The saddest part of the Untouchables is of course the moment when our heroic CPA is tragically killed. Okay, maybe when the little kid gets blown up it’s a bit more tragic. Where do you get off killing accountants though? Frank Nitti can kiss my ass…shot that dude from “Slap Shot” too. I suppose it could’ve happened even earlier in the film. Damn showboating Canadian mounties.
There’s the granddaddy of lines, “I want him dead, I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground.” Reminds me of Jets fans talking about Brady. Not that I watch too much football anymore.
So, we let the accountant die but go out of our way to save a bookkeeper? A bookkeeper, really?? That is such a great scene, though. The slow motion…baby going down the stairs in the carriage…Stone slides in to save the baby and takes aim on the douchebag thug. Classic and thrilling.
I’m gonna shut up now and enjoy the rest of the movie. Oh, Sean Connery and Kevin Costner? Well, their stories will be written someday soon on the pages of Beechum County.
Never stop fighting until the fight is done.